Today would have been my brother Steve's birthday. He was 4 years younger than me and the youngest of 3 of us. He passed away several years ago from complications from drugs. He was only 46. Such a short life but he wasn't having a good life. He had been on drugs for years and just couldn't get off of them.
His son is Stephen, my nephew who just got married. I feel bad that Steve never got to meet his granddaughter. He would have been so overjoyed at being a grandfather, and he would have adored Kylie. I know that I still miss him a lot.
Today I went shopping. I got a couple of Christmas gifts and some new art supplies. Always a good thing when I get new art supplies. I think every artist agrees with that. No matter how many pencils, paints, pastels, etc you have, you still want more. I guess we are afraid we might run out. Not likely at my place but it still doesn't keep me from buying.
I bought a small candle that smells like cinnamon rolls. I'm not sure that was a wise purchase. I have been hungry for sweets since I brought it home. I haven't even lit it yet. Now I'm scared it will smell like baking cinnamon rolls when lit. I'm not sure my will power can handle that. The shopping bag sure smelled good tho.
I bought the packaging for mailing my portrait I did for the swap. It is all packaged and ready for the mail tomorrow. I'm not sure how long it will take to get to England but I hope it gets there safely.
All my trades are finished and my cards for the Christmas card exchange have been mailed. I received my first one today. In fact I got 2 cards today. One from the trade and one from a friend in Las Vegas. Christmas is coming fast.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Today has been hard for me. I'm glad I have made it thru my first Thanksgiving without my husband. It was bittersweet. I had dinner with family and enjoyed it but I kept thinking of last year when Bill was there with me. I sat there and had dinner and "made happy" but inside I just wanted to go off by myself and have a good cry.
It has been 8 months. Eight long and lonely months. I keep busy, I'm not hiding out or living in misery but I am just not whole. I'm not sure I will ever be completely whole again. I am sure that I will heal eventually. It will never be better, but will get easier. Time always heals to a certain extent.
I know one thing, I will be grateful when it has been a year since he passed. That may sound strange but to me it will be the end of all the holidays and major events that I will have gotten thru without him by my side. All those firsts, which is what I call them, are very tiring. Sometimes I feel like all the stuffing has drained out of me.
I did enjoy thinking about how this time last year Bill held Kylie and fed her for the first time. She was around 2 months old. And this year I held her as she tried to play with the food on my plate. And when I started out the door to leave, I turned back for a kiss, and she gave me the sweetest hug. It was all worth it.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
I finally got a start on the portrait I am doing for the portrait swap on Wetcanvas. It is barely started but I thought I'd post anyway. His left eye I'm working on. going to make it bigger. That's why his iris is in front of the lid. Weird huh?
This is Gary and he has finished my portrait. I need to get busy and get his done. It needs to be in the UK by Christmas. I will probably be doing it in colored pencil. The style is one I learned on Wetcanvas from Alfredart. It is done with only 3 colors. Of course I may use a couple other colors to get the dark in the pupils.
Well I had better get back to it. Times passing fast. If he says ok, I will post the one he did of me in pastels. And his when I am finished. Or maybe even as I work on it.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
The scavenger hunts on Wetcanvas have made it to #200. I can remember just wanting to make it to #100 and here we are now at 200. And still going strong.
The new list has been posted and we already have some items uploaded. I'm hoping we have a lot of participation in this one especially. I would love to get all the items done this time. I haven't been able to do that for quite some time. But hopefully this will be my first of many.
I did get one more thing on my list finished today. I got my Christmas Card finished, printed off, folded, and ready for the envelopes. We haven't gotten the address list but at least after my slow start, I am caught up.
Now I need to get busy on the portrait I need for the portrait swap. I can't wait too long to mail it as it has to reach the UK by Christmas. I haven't even started yet but will soon.
Here is a tiny peek at my Christmas Card. I used a photo of my Friday. It was the first photo I ever took of her. I added a hat to make it Christmas-y. It will soon be a year since we had to let her go.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
I thought I had finished the Zentangle II Trade. But 2 more names added. I got one finished and will do the last one soon. I also finished the Chimney trade. Now I am working on the Anything That Doesn't Walk trade. I have worked on those tonight and have only two more to go. And still one more Pet Portrait to do.
I also received the photo of the person I will be swapping portraits with on Wetcanvas in the Portraiture forum area. But before I start that, I have to get a pen and ink Christmas card finished so that I can get the copies made and ready to send.
I played around with two different Christmas cards but I am not satisfied with them. Thankfully I only have to make one and send copies. I'm tired just thinking of all the things I still need to do.
Here are two photos I took at my nephew's wedding a couple weeks ago. It was at a resort hotel in Pismo Beach, CA. It is on a bluff overlooking the ocean and the wedding was set up facing the water. Beautiful but it rained. We all got wet but everyone still had a good time.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
I know it sounds like a weird Title. But it is pretty appropriate. I made it thru Halloween which would have been my husband's and my 40th anniversary. I had dreaded it for a couple weeks or so. It was a little nagging dread in the back of my mind.
Sunday I spent the day alone. At 12:01 midnight, I said a Happy Anniversary to my husband even tho he is no longer here. It just felt right. Then I spent the day here at the house, cleaning closets, watching tv, playing with the dogs, and remembering. It was a very long day.