Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Mixed Blessing

People who know me, know I was unable to have children. That time in my life was very stressful, in fact there are parts of time that I have no memory of. I was in depression (about 1 1/2 years) and for a short time non functional. You never really get over it, but it does get better with time.
I didn't like not having an answer as to "why me?" I was always wondering why we were not given the opportunity to show how much we loved children and how wonderful we would have been as parents. I finally found an answer in a spiritual book that I could live with. After reading that, it made perfect sense to me.
I write poetry. At least I did. Haven't written anything for a couple years now. I have my poetry interspersed here on this blog, plus on two other sites. Both are listed in my links. Crossway Publications an online site and Sondra Ball's site.
This month Sondra asked to use my poem on her monthly newsletter. She has used many of my poems before, and this time it is the one called "Mixed Blessing" that I wrote about my path and discovery thru that journey. The short version of what I went thru. Here is where you can read my poem and some other wonderful poems: http://www.sondra.net/al/


Ai said...

It is great, Jeanne. I think it clearly describes once what called 'your pain'. I am glad you had survived your depression. I truly believe you could be a great mother but if you can't, you can still help other kids with your will and talents .

Joan said...

Jeanne, Your poem was really moving. I think it really captures your feelings and how they changed as you accepted things, even though you didn't understand the why. You would have been a wonderful mom, since you're such a feeling and understanding person. I never had children either since I got married when I was a bit older. I've been lucky to have lots of nieces and nephews and now great-nieces and nephews to shower with love and spoil.

Katherine Tyrrell said...

Jeanne - that's a really moving poem - and I totally understand the sentiment at the end.